Prologue to our story

I like to think that our story is quite unique, but then again I think every girl thinks her story is unique. I was living in the US for a couple of years before I met “D” even though we were living in the same small town. We did not meet in any of the usual ways like at school, club, work, or through mutual friends. The only reason we found each other is because of one of the biggest mistake I did in my life. This makes me believe that everything happens for a reason and everything works out for good at the end.

People look at me and think that I am bold and talkative. The reality is I am not. My biggest problem always has been making friends. I cannot start a conversation, but if someone starts a conversation I open up. This has been really bad for me because I attract the wrong kind of people. This was what happened to me after I came to states. Thousands of miles away from home and without my parents in everyday life, I became lonely. On top of this, our university is in a small town, and there is not a lot of Indian community around.  The town mostly consisted of white population and it was very rare to even find an African American. So, it was really difficult to fit in. I fell for my X ,(the jerk- an Indian). We only had biweekly classes at the university. At times, for weeks, he was the only human face I saw. I was lonely, and the jerk manipulated me to the point that I was blinded by his act.

It was fall of 2010, and he was getting ready to go to India. The cover story that he told me was he was going to break the engagement, (he was engaged before he came to US,) and convince his parents for our marriage. I was so stupid that I believed that. Even though my parents hated him, they were willing to give him a chance.  So the only problem was from his side. When he was planning to go to India, I asked my mom to come and visit me. I wanted her because she always helped me with my test as she is a doctor too.  As soon as I asked, she dropped everything and flew to US. The jerk left to India and my mom came here. I was seeing her for the first time in two years. It was all good in the beginning. Then, after 2 weeks I called the jerk in India, but he did not answer. Later, his SIL told me that he was busy shopping for his wedding. I was shocked. It felt like the earth was pulled from under my feet. I was making all these plans for taking the test and getting married. In a minute my whole life came crashing down. I was so naïve that I was still thinking that he is helpless and his family is forcing him to do it. My mother said that she knew this would happen but did not say anything because she knew I was not going to listen to her. I think she was right about me not listening part.

I was a mess. I went into infant position and was so scared to leave my room for a week. My brother and the jerk’s jerky sister had an argument.  The jerk had the guts to call me and demand that I say sorry to his jerky sister, to which I actually agreed at that time. I was thinking that it will get him back. Everything was going out of control. My mom was trying hard to help me out, but it was a foreign land for her. I am so thankful that my mom was with me at that time and can’t imagine what would have happened to me if she were not there. But slowly I started to hate myself for putting my mom through all this drama on a foreign land where she felt helpless and scared. Even though I was sorry for my mom I was still harboring the hopes that the jerk will come back to me. This aggravated my mother and brother. They could not deal with my stupidity any more. This created a tension because they thought that I would be back on my feet and in my senses within a week. That was not happening; I needed to grieve on my own timeline. I decided to send my mom away to my brother’s. First she resisted because she was worried about my condition. Then, with a great difficulty, she agreed. I needed her to go because I was not able to take more guilt from my mother’s suffering. So, she went to my brother’s in the middle of December. I was trying every way to contact the jerk when he was in India. I kept up my hope about the jerk’s return till mid January when he returned after getting married. He came to visit me after he came. I was surprised by his attitude. He was not even sorry for the way he treated me. I could not believe that this was the same guy I had known before.  He was so much more interested in getting his I pod touch that he got free from some stupid promotional offer. He literally broke me into pieces and all he cared about was his stupid I pod.  I was shocked at his guts. That night, I cried myself to sleep. The next morning I woke up and felt a sense of peace. All the pain just disappeared. I was no longer hurting. It was like God took away all the painful memories. I guess that was what I needed, to see him for who he really was.

I guess he expected that I would still go back to him after he came here. So, after a month of me not giving a darn about him, (we were in the same masters program,) he finally shows up to say sorry and make me fall for him again. Lol. He did not realize that now I can see clear through him. I said that I forgave him, but I want him to take all the stuff he left at my place before going to India. His answer was he could not do that because he does not have money to get a place, and his friends place is too small for his stuff. I was so annoyed like seriously, he wants to come once a week and get his stuff. I said I don’t care, get it out or else it would be donated to Salvation Army.

So, this is one of the biggest mistake in my life. And if you are wondering why I told the story on this blog which was supposed to be about my relationship with “D”. The reason is simple “D” happened only because I made this mistake. I guess there is some truth in the saying “everything happens for a reason and works out for good at the end”. From the ashes of the pain and the hurt was born a new plant, which is the symbol of me and D’s love. We nurtured this plant and it blossomed to be a tree that produces the sweetest fruit and beautiful flowers. Also because of this biggest mistake several other lovely people became a part of my life. I found my second home away from home and feel a sense of belonging finally.

Click here to read more posts on our story.

-R

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1 Comment

  1. Everything that is meant to be will happen, and it seems like all the bad things did lead you to the exact place where you’re supposed to be – with true love, and finding a second home away from home.

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